Most moments when we were engaging with the enemy I felt lucid, fluid, I could think relatively clearly and made timely, accurate decisions. Then there were times which I am not quite proud of and still coming to terms with almost 10 years later, that I was absolutely terrified and felt stuck with a gripping fear, unable to function, unable to breathe. The absolute last thing you wanted to be was stuck. Awareness that I had frozen only served to intensify the fear and lack of control. Eventually, either I snapped out of it and started functioning again to lead, or the smart, brave Marines took initiative to act on their own, based on their instinct and grit as they are trained to do. Either way, these men risked their lives regularly and showed unparalleled backbone and courage under enemy fire. For that, I could not be more proud and more thankful.
In 2008, I ended my active service and moved to Baltimore. I abhorred the business job I took and I drank like a fish with the city cops who had been exposed to as much as I had. Turns out Ramadi and West Baltimore have a lot in common. Numbing, escaping and avoiding became routine again as it had when I got back from Iraq. I felt very alone and isolated, even though I had my drinking buddies to commiserate with. The same luck that brought me back in one piece, landed Elijah Sacra at Nacho Mamas, a popular local Mexican joint in East Baltimore for one of their beastly burritos. It was there in 2010 that he and I started to connect, first as Marines, second as fitness enthusiasts to build on what he and Alvaro Matta had created with Semper Fit, our original non-profit name. Elijah had been a personal trainer for years and completed his 200 hour yoga teacher training with Kim Manfredi at Charm City Yoga. At the time, he was using yoga and breathing techniques to help a local soldier rebuild after he lost his legs to an IED patrolling with Marines in Ramadi. I accompanied Elijah and observed one of the regular training sessions with this young soldier and I was inspired to say the least. Weeks later, Elijah had me on a mat, working hybrid yoga poses with barbells. I was smoked and I was hooked.
I then began practicing on my own at home and took my first formal yoga classes at the Fells Point Charm City Yoga studio with Brianna Bedigian. I can’t describe the feeling as being anything other than magical. I floated out down the stairs and out the studio doors after classes. My level of general anxiety dropped instantly. My sense of physical tension dramatically softened and I was just in a better, more pleasant mood. Something crazy was happening and I knew in my bones that this powerful tool needed to be used to address the issues in our military and veteran population, like yesterday.
To be continued...
